My real language test

A whole pijo family (mother, father, child & grandmother) attacked me & Josh like a swarm of bees for not picking up Turco's dog poo. Here's what I screamed in spanish at them in the heat of the moment:

"¡VA!" - I was trying to say "LEAVE!" because they wouldn't go - they wouldn't stop being totally mental. And since they charged at us from 15 meters aways, they were the ones who needed to leave. Josh says I could have used, "¡Vete!"

"¡ESTAS LOCOS!" - I think I needed to say, "¡Estais locos!" because I can't say 'you' (a single person) are many crazies. Besides, I was talking to all of them.

"¡ME PEGAS!" - at this point I was trying to alert them that things had gone too far by telling the man he had actually hit me while trying to take a swing at my beautiful Joshua - who had done nothing to provoke him - but a more accurate thing to yell would have been, "¡Me pegaste!"

"¡Y TU HIJO!" - this one I got right. While they were all yelling & swinging at us (EVEN THE 90 YEAR OLD GRANDMOTHER HIT JOSH WITH HER HANDBAG!) they abandoned their child. While they all made a semicircle around us, their 2 or 3 year old stared at their backs and cried. So I was trying to remind them they'd forgotten about their kid so they could riot with us, and that he or she was really scared (idiots).

"¡NO TIENES EDUCACIONES!" - I meant it towards all of them, not one of them, so I wish I had said, "¡Todos! No teneis educaciones!" (Educaciones means manners.)

Later I tried to tell the policeman that what they

did is probably nothing to them but for us, our

night was ruined. Here's how I said it: "Para ellos,

creo que este situacion es nada. Pero, para

nosotros, nuestra noche ha terminado - ha roto."

Does that make sense? I hope so.

So I think I passed my real-life language exam

because I think I got my point across, but barely.

Maybe I earned a B- or C+.

Meanwhile, the poo still sits on the promenade.